The Dave Hill Goodtime Hour (Formerly known as Dave Hill's Podcasting Incident and The Goddamn Dave Hill Show on WFMU)

Episode 214: Comedian Wayne Federman

Episode Summary

It's a bizarro episode of The Dave Hill Goodtime Hour that begins with Dave, Dez, and Chris welcoming comedian Wayne Federman to the program to discuss his new book The History of Stand-Up and ends with the team hilariously hanging up on callers. Recorded live March 29, 2021. Buy Wayne's new book The History of Stand-Up: From Mark Twain to Dave Chappelle now!

Episode Notes

It's a bizarro episode of The Dave Hill Goodtime Hour that begins with Dave, Dez, and Chris welcoming comedian Wayne Federman to the program to discuss his new book The History of Stand-Up and ends with the team hilariously hanging up on callers. Recorded live March 29, 2021.

Buy Wayne's new book The History of Stand-Up: From Mark Twain to Dave Chappelle now!

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Dave’s new stand up album The Pride of Cleveland  is out now on 800 Pound Gorilla Records! Buy it or Dave will stab you.

Watch the music video for “Death To Death Metal” on YouTube or Dave’s feelings will be hurt.

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Episode Transcription

i have seen the dark shadows moving in the woods and i have no doubt that whatever i have resurrected through this book is sure to come calling for me david you look absolutely terrific honestly you got like you've got my blue one this is where the worst begins this is where we must stop for beyond is the work of madness the nightmare of insane murder and lingering dead

 

get inside and lock your doors

 

close your windows

 

is waiting for you

 

someone wants to scare you to death

 

this is albert from the tuesday show you're listening to the goddamn dave hill show now on a flippin monday

 

nobody else could see you the same way

 

me

 

if nothing happens

 

i can that

 

my life

 

y'all

 

uh

 

and to that i say no you're an angel witch thank you hello and welcome to the dave hill good time hour can you hear me chris you have a look on your face is it if you can't hear me no i just uh i could hear you you're fine he just has a look on his face oh oh you should have nodded in that way that was like yeah this is going great sorry um anyway hello hi how are you i'm incredible thank you for joining us for the day phil good time hour once again uh how's everybody doing how are you doing uh boy criminal chris kurzbek i'm doing great fantastic and you new jersey chicken rancher doing well doing well i'm not now i'm i'm inserting a pause now i'm only on my stepping on your answer to the question i just asked but i'm intent on me i'm or maybe subconsciously inserting a pause after i say new jersey chicken rancher as if i'm as if i have no intention of ever naming you just let it hang but you are um anyway we have a gravity-defying program in store for you tonight normally we bring the guests on a little later in the program but today

 

in these times have no rules our guest tesla that's to leave a little early um which is fine but it it it puts that puts the pressure on for for us to come up with the tough questions right out of the gate and i wanted to ask chris we'll we'll talk about this in the back end of the show i know you had uh last week you had wanted to talk about misheard song lyrics oh yeah we didn't get to it please put make a large post-it note for yourself um and i want to talk about the suez canal uh both mishap that i feel personally responsible for but um let's let's waste no time in bringing our guest tonight is a is a hilarious comedian um a guy i've known for a while i've not seen him in person for a while now i'm seeing him uh on zoom which is how i see almost all humans in my life these days uh he's the author of a new bo well a book that came out a couple weeks ago it is the number one comedy book in the world by my calculations by my tireless research uh the book is his it checks out the history of stand up from mark twain to dave chappelle uh it's a great book i've been reading it i've been enjoying it i i uh i can't recommend it enough ladies and gentlemen please put your hands together for the lovely and talented wayne fetterman who has agreed to uh to join us on this dog and pony show i'm here okay how do i sound how's this audio you sound great fantastic i'm just writing down you said you can't recommend it enough that's going to be on the website within hours i know this is yeah you know that's already an endorsement even if nothing else added this whole thing i've done i've succeeded believe me any anything i say you're welcome to turn into a blurb i try to speak in verbs your blurb speak yeah just put it put you know no but i i i love the book it it's it's a great book thank you um i have a quick question i have a quick question i'm going to start off with because i didn't know that i was supposed to wear a t-shirt with something on it or some words i didn't know that was actually david i can't even see what you're wearing what is that i'm i'm actually wearing this is uncharacteristic for me because normally i i'm i'm not quite as casual normally i wear i'll wear a sweater or something but i'm wearing this um actually a hoodie sent i was just thinking about this during the pandemic i don't know if this happened to you guys but people have been so kind to send me all manner of uh clothing books uh food and among them the uh this guy in chicago has a line of clothing called death by danko makes these hoodies and i can't i'm wearing a hoodie but not death by day and how do they get it to you is there a post office box do you just give out your home address how's it all well i've been um as as uh anyone who listened to this show regularly knows i've been hiding out in a small finnish fishing village in northeastern ohio the majority of the past year um taking care of an octogenarian uh woman though arguably you know she's doing her fair share of taking care of me i'll go you know it's a two-way street yeah but um i have been uh i just give out the address i know that's a risky thing because that's that was my assumption just knowing you and i just feel like you're like i'm part of this world why do i need to build another gate for people to get through my gates open yeah and i figure you know you know as a as a as a stand-up you know that whatever if something went wrong yeah you get a new 10 minutes out of it right at least you mean if you got murdered yeah j anything just shy short of getting murdered you get you'll get some if something went horribly wrong and i statistically speaking i've had a few uh uh oh nothing is nothing i don't i would say nothing has ever gone wrong giving my address out okay giving my whereabouts i've i've been burned by that before you have okay okay by by by just making my public whereabouts known and and that's not even true really i would say uh you know sometimes people crossing state lines to come to a show i've had that go south a few times yeah but um hey we already have a super chat question for wayne yes oh my god go ahead tell me about this wait this is a new technology i myself have just learned about but people can pay and you know you as you know in these times when we must monetize unprecedented times if you in these unprecedented times when everything if you're not monetizing what are you even doing that's the question of life if you're not monetizing everything anyway but on the we on the live youtube stream of this people can pay and and as i say this as i explain it to wayne i will explain it to anyone watching live hit the dollar sign and um it's one question to get a question well i think they can pick the amount uh you know as these things go i myself have never super chatted so i don't know how it works so you can choose any you can choose any amount it doesn't matter any amount you would pay it could be pennies could be pennies i think pennies around the dollar a lot of people donate six dollars and 66 cents uh because of the devil situation because of my they perceive me as someone who has some sort of fascination with the devil which i don't you know what people do because i like heavy metal you know how it is like yeah i like heavy metal yeah and people jump to conclusions about you as a result they did that with jimmy page right when he bought aleister crowley's house yeah i mean he was kind of begging for it yeah yeah but how many signs but but you know any of i do i do appreciate the 6.66 amount but what is this anyway so all by the way i will not explain it in this detail every time but when people do the super chat the question jumps to the top and chris says hey we have a super chat so what is the question chris uh dan wally wants to know wayne does wayne play drums and can we have tom and petal talk because we always have pedal talk on the show so i guess you would drummers don't really discuss toms though that's not really oh okay i thought tom was a person but he means tom like well like thomas upstairs right tom yeah yeah yeah there's right to anyone listening in the podcast format uh wayne there's a i'm going to go out on a limb to initiate the drum talk would appear but from my naive uh eisens guitar player i would say a vintage gretch kid is behind you what that is an incredibly astute guess if you wanted to be wrong that would be a great piece you nailed it you nailed it now that i'm looking for the hardware it looks too modern i know it is dave your mic is doing that thing again oh my mic oh i'm going to switch my microphone i love it i love it should i be talking during this embarrassing moment of information as i switch sorry you're you're good don't slow down for me okay so yeah so wayne that is a gretch kit behind it it is not aggressive oh it's not aggressive he is 100 correct that the the hardware is way too new i will push down and reveal does anyone else want to take a guess

 

i'm going to take another guess

 

okay i'm gonna say uh i know wayne fetterman to be a man of means he's a successful man yep and i can i i'm gonna say that he's gone in hard and that's a dw kit 100 correct it's 100 whoa are you serious oh my god i knew it i was like that is a serious skit from a guy who's not messing around it kind of looks like uh i i remember i forget nice to work for you we made it but ringo's star they like replicated his drums for a while what kind of drum did ringo play ludwig literally yeah i thought that that's what that was like oh yeah no it is the ringo's

 

oh i think your mic uh your mic came out that wire sorry no i hit the mute button i hit the mute button this terrible design here sure company the short company if you're watching

 

but on the new ringo kit he now has a little closed hi-hat where a second time would go if that makes any sense i have the gear oh it does i don't have the hi-hat yet don't have the hi-hat yet but that's that's going to happen i love ringo is my favorite beetle so it's oh wow i use his style with single tom singleton i'm still buzzing from having guests uh dw correctly that was incredible did you now did was that basically like my credit my imdb like how did you come i like it had nothing to do with the hardware just no it was it was based on um a variety of factors i know you are a musician as well as a comedian i saw the finish on the kit which looks like kind of vintage inspired and then i just put it together i was like wayne is a successful guy he's not going to walk into the guitar center and just walk out with some crappy floor model you're gonna do it right so it's like he's he's got a dw kit thank you that was awesome that was awesome guessing and the weird thing is my big three when i decided to buy these drums at this age was gretch ludwig and dw that was i didn't want anything else i didn't want the anything those are the answers and this is um i can and you made the right choice i mean as you know but um as i said i i have i have a lot of guitars and there's ones where i've i've done the right thing and gotten a nice one and then there's ones where i just got like uh someone just scratched the itch and i i got something that was like ah that's not the one but it'll it'll uh it'll it'll cause a glimmer of excitement and then over time you go that was stupid why did i do that i should have just gotten the real deal well it's hard to interrupt again but there's so many there's a lot of questions super chat questions coming in oh my god you guys are missing

 

this is ruins the surprises we're going to get you that extra ringo hi-hat with the money oh you are i love it more super chat questions let's do it all right brian whitley asks uh please ask wayne about his experience playing stan sanders oh that's awesome question can i just answer it or do you have to repeat it like i didn't hear that no you you i think we all know we all heard it and you heard it i think you can go ahead and answer okay i just didn't know what their protocol was no there's no protocol just so you know the question was please ask wayne so true that no you're right to be fair to be fair yeah yeah the you did i i respect your respect for protocol what was that gentleman's name what was that gentleman's name we asked that question brian whitley brian whitley i i want to answer the question i'm champ excuse me champion at the bit is the exact term by the way not chomping so i'm champion at the bit but you did not ask me the question you asked someone else to ask me that question so um okay so

 

this was one of the absolute career highlights of my entire career was getting to play gary shandling well larry sanders brother on the on the larry sanders show but what i later found out that made the whole experience even more incredible for me was that because i worked on this documentary called the zen diaries of gary shane and in it we found out that he had a very traumatic experience that he had one brother that he was very close to who died when he was a kid and that was and it it affected him his entire life and for numerous reasons total trauma and so that i played his brother on the show i thought i was like oh wow he must that was even a more of an honor than it already was so great question i wish somebody would have asked it to me on this show but we got it from somebody i know well it worked out it worked out right i yeah i i have some uh i i have some locked and loaded questions if the super chat fails us at any point right now okay which i i don't know i mean we have we have some more i want to say and i'm not even going to ask my questions because we'll go we'll keep just honoring the super chat until but i in my name of my blog the uh i you know in my tireless research i you know because i thought of course i'm knowledgeable about wayne fetterman and his career but i i said you know he's a guest on this program i'm gonna do a deep dive and i googled you i'm like i'm gonna go deeper than what i already know and simply google your name right and google love just so i understand is that what they call the dark web is this what you're talking about yeah it is i don't even know what these word means is that there's a lot of bad stuff yeah you don't know i don't recommend it okay okay you know but uh i uh so i was reading uh and and i thought i said what are you drinking there by the way taco bell lemonade oh wow pink lemonade yeah pink lemonade's diluted though that's what happens when you have your numbers are too high you have to cut down on the sugar oh you're learning a lot about me right now this is elevated we've got some elevated numbers we're okay we're going to get to your numbers in a second we'll legit i mean we'll jump to the numbers momentarily no but i i there was so much i was reading and i i went from like i i mean i i've always been impressed of course but with your career and then and then i was like gosh there's so much more and then i got to what i what i consider the peak is when i turned on you in my brain and i was like you know what [ __ ] this guy he's done too much he's succeeded too much in life and i turned on you and i flew into a rage and i thought you know what cancel the show i don't want this guy on anymore no and then then i then but that was just a flash of rage but no there i was amazed and and and we'll get to the super chat but you um uh close to my heart you performed on ins in rotation at the 13th street theater with brother theodore you're the only one that's ever asked me about this only are you serious no one has ever asked me about brother theodore working there this was right out of college this is before i even pass to the comedy club this is like early 80s this is 40 years ago but this is an amazing uh era in in so many ways and and just like that that theater and and just i mean brother theodore who probably a lot of people watching slash listening aren't familiar but he's like a guy i feel like there isn't a modern no one close no one close what was that like uh well he was uh he used to do stand-up tragedy is the way he described it right and he's this incredible person who escaped nazi germany was a very rich guy over there came over here with nothing and kind of rebuilt his life and had obviously some anger issues and became a cult favorite in the village in the 60s and then it wasn't really till after i performed with him in the early 80s that uh david letterman kind of uh brought him to life on that late show on the 12 30 show yeah i brought him to life but bro yeah and then he started working he's in the movie uh the burbs he's in uh he's in that billy crystal nobody knows who anyway it's an extremely angry aggressive type of comedy not like sam kennison i don't even know how to it's unjust indescribable it's uh he and but he had bits the guy had legitimate comedy bits and it was just i i don't know i mean he didn't talk to me that much because i was the show after him but uh he was always like make sure you clean up the wrestling room you've got to be a professional you know just describe the 13th street theater for these kids they don't know yeah it's just this little underground uh like you you blink and you miss it little places yeah it was a little an armpit it was like a little armpit over there but he was like you got to respect the theater make sure you clean up i don't want to see anything like i'm not the show before you it's nothing to do with me and but he i would come in early to watch him and he had special lighting cues i always like when comedians take it to another level it was not just lights on do the show lights off like sometimes they would pin spot them sometimes they go over there it was really theatrical yeah yeah he was uh he was amazing and you people can go you can go on youtube and there's some clips of him oh there's tons of stuff tons uh but he's like you watch it and i mean i you know even though there's plenty of people doing great things in late night now i feel like no one would have that anyone like him on today no no i i'm trying to think what would be an equivalent like someone who kind of it's kind of a character right so it's yeah it's a heightened character like watching like watching him as a kid yeah i remember just thinking like that like like he would just attack he would just be like belligerent can i can i make a am i allowed to make a youtube recommendation is that a lot of research platforms you can do any anything all right i just discovered within the last three months so during covet a clip of brother theodore getting into an argument on the old merv griffin show which used to come out of new york with jerry lewis so just put brother theodore jerry lewis and it is amazing people in the chat are saying uh eddie eddie pepitone is somewhat like oh yes yes yes yeah very good fred the chat is smarter than i am

 

can i super answer wait let me see how much money i have because those

 

so i'm guys to give you guys 5.5 american dollar with this one excellent this is over yes eddie pepitone would be a great example of that yes yeah yeah he's yeah he he has to be the closest no question that's a great smart group you have a smartphone it would be like eddie pepitone if if eddie appeared to have wandered in off the street and wasn't on the bill and did his thing like like like there's it was just like or maybe it's just my perceptions of brother theater went out theodore when i was younger that i was just like something something's horribly wrong but this is amazing yeah no he was uh i it was ridiculous i mean i was just kind of starting out and did the show after him but yeah this is just another super chat it's a similar subject jessica jessica kybel asks uh wayne do you have any good stories from the last days of catch a rising star oh no i don't but i will tell you this so that's still going to cost you money jessica sorry next question that's hilarious yeah we must charge no because i had already moved to los angeles in the late 80s so i was not there for those final days but i saw the ketchup star in its heyday and i write about it in my book um the history of stand up that it was the history of stand up that when that club closed it was beyond shot when that close and the improv on 44th street both closed in the early 90s it was beyond shocking because catcherizing star you don't understand was like they it was the studio 54 of stand-up clubs like there was i to this day limousines double parked outside up and down first avenue like dustin hoffman all new york yankees like just an a-list clientele obviously richard belzer was their mc sometimes people came to see him downstairs i wasn't part of this scene coke money blow jobs the whole thing it was like just insane what was going on at that club and people hundred dollars to sit up front so uh you know belzer would make fun of them it was i as big as seen as the seller is right now in new york city was how big catch a rising star so when it closed and it already franchised there was one in boston princeton um somewhere else and then then it's just like in the early 90s it was sort of uh there was a comedy boom and then it retracted a little bit and that was it so no a legendary club that i write about in the books in the books the history is so bad i'm so bad at this no you have this is you know i know no no no you don't have to you don't have to yeah i'm just no you wanna you're gonna be feeling you'll see the the the the dave hill spike that comes out of his appearance i love it thank you the dave hill effect they call it i'm noticing that the call-in number is a new jersey number is that right it happens yes it is is that yours no i don't know this guy chris i don't know this guy's name he does oh this is that says okay okay i didn't quite hear it i just they kept calling you different that guy is that a uh are we in an attic we are in the attic up here in west jersey with the chicken farms yeah oh okay so that's the 201 okay i love it i don't want to go on mitch walters on you but i know that area code wow i love it that's incredible we got another and people can call the number 201 584-7071 do they have to pay for that is that uh super duper monetize yeah that's free so we have not figured out how to way to monetize that so we've failed in that way do we have a call desk is that what you said no calls as of yet no oh oh look it's okay never say when there aren't calls right you you want to exactly oh yeah my fault i can't lie you can't i like dez i like it you got another super chat though matt arnold wants to want to know he says wayne you can wave a magic wand describe your perfect toast the bread the spread all of it perfect toast yes that's what that's what matt looks like perfect toast yes i you know

 

toast

 

well you're familiar with toast the breakfast uh staple i thought he was talking about hey to the bride to the groom this is uh may you live a long life that's not what he's talking about no he's actually talking about yeah the bread the spread and more the bread and the spread are you a rock fella no no like would you i i think that my favorite thing toasted is gonna sound hyper jewy and we're gonna lose all our fans but uh this is a media click click click refund refund refund whatever that is i love the toasted egg bagel not plain with the cream cheese and the lox and the tomato that's it no capers nothing else just but heavy cream cheese like way too much like heart attack like where you bite into it and then the roof of your mouth is coated in cream cheese yeah yeah and it's oh it was in the hole and yeah that would be my favorite more than any but can i give a second place my last two or is that a different uh i love and this is old school like when i was a kid i haven't had it maybe in decades is raisin toast also with cream cheese oh raisin bread raisin bread toast is that a does that ring a bell for anyone oh i'm a big fan and i've just honestly in the last couple weeks learned i don't know why i hadn't explored earlier but someone recommended to me interesting full disclosure wayne i think the reason the toast question came down in the pike is because i have been really going down a toast wormhole on my on my instagram i've been eating a lot of toast i said you know i look anyone could see it to look at me a little bloated i'm starting the day i would use the word more doughy than bloated but that's joey you know it's more appropriate yeah yeah but uh but someone someone recommended uh cream cheese with i i've gotten some four fruit preserves that's what it's called but i i guess this just jam made with four four anyway but they said put cream cheese and then that and i so i did it and i was like that's that's amazing and i was like yeah and let me see i've always called it cream cheese but some people call it creamed cheese oh those people can [ __ ] off oh wow i didn't know you're gonna swear it's iced coffee not iced coffee right yeah same kind of thing chris this is true backing my own rule i last last week i said no swearing i we dumped elvira canavera's call because he swore because this this show uh is in the terrestrial radio in manchester england and which and you know they're famously litigious people of course so um and now i've just broken the rule chris will have to no don't even edit it out they're they're not going to do we'll say that i said something else if anyone calls what so what song is in my head manchester england england is that a song does it for anyone okay i'm wrong oh no

 

what is that okay i don't know it just you said manchester that popped in my head i can't think of any other part of that song but it's all right you don't you know something perhaps say it again is it like a football anthem sounds like no no no no no no like it sounds like a 60s i mean i guess it would be some 60s yeah like early child you know those early songs in your childhood that's just like particular yeah yeah just okay yeah yeah absolutely going i'm loving these questions i've never been in a scenario where people paid money to ask me a question we actually had someone uh pay for a question and then they removed the question weird yeah

 

i knew it was going to happen it brought up bagels and likes i knew it i knew this dead breed uh i sent ten dollars and i can't see the message i think it was about asking if you were still teaching uh a course a college level

 

not only still teaching i start in 24 minutes ah that's the hard oh my gosh so that oh wow that's amazing so yes is the answer to that question it's a stand-up performance and history class yeah so you're teach so that's amazing so i now talk about monetizing i would hope that part of the curriculum is they have to buy your history of stand-up book not yet not yet but i'm thinking about it i mean i know that i just felt like it's such a gross thing that professors do and their books are like 80 bucks my book's was uh 8.99 for the kindle um but the uh yeah so i don't know i just feel like it's super gross thing to do to a student be like hey you want to take my course give me some money on top of this but i might do it you're all for it i can see in your face dave you're like i'm off i'm all for it i just i've had it happen to me i think at that age you don't i wouldn't think to question it if i weren't just a pretty young thing uh what just gained the book just came out so let me think about it but that would be a nice passive revenue stream but i just find that it's a little like oh no no don't read uh gerald nachman's book read like these great scholars that spent 30 years writing just say you know if you if you know i i just think it makes more sense you know you hear you hear their they hear your words on the zoom or whatever however you're teaching this class then they can then they can hold the words in their hand you did all the work putting the book together you might have no i got it it does i like dez can you tell me what's on your t-shirt just because i just see hendrix oh james hendricks i love him from seattle i love that guy he's the guy oh man how great was he lonnie i don't know if you know this when i started my closer on the ukuleles electrify it through a little martial amp and play three songs purple haze by jimi hendrix in the goddard evita by iron butterfly and then a version of whole lot of love with a solo from heartbreaker of led zeppelin that's how you killed killed killed digging it's amazing yeah what's that i said you're taking notes that's how you close i actually that's a closer no i i was behind that's a power move yeah yeah yeah i love that james what's his middle name james something patrick hendricks that's off the top of my head we're gonna someone's got a super chat somebody's gotta say someone's can super chat the answer to the least marshall that sounds right you have a call on you want to take a call oh yeah yes 201 let's bring in jersey

 

what do we got jersey from new jersey coming in hot hello you fine fine folks this is up eric and april speak of the devil uh first i want to first i want to apologize for uh last week it was just uh uh quoting lyrics and i i get into the natural flow and i did not mean to offend the very litigious area of uh england tell that to the courts too late i've been on a deep english muffin kick for the last month of our pandemic can't go wrong and what i do is and it's improved my life dramatically is i keep a really good butter in a covered dish on the counter so it's soft so you can spread it over that hot stuff and not have it just destroy everything and it doesn't taste like a inside of a refrigerator that this is smart that that salted butter oh so good this is a good toast move thank you that was a very in-depth question that yeah i uh but another thing that's been getting our family through this is uh chicken therapy i've been able to damn i knew we should have just gone out on a high note with the butter advice

 

continue against my better judgment continue

 

do we lose him well and uh we were we're able to get the little uh we have uh daughters that are about the same size and age and they've been able to see these baby chickens as as whom at the same size and age of each other compared to what

 

uh um it's been really hard during kovid to get a kid on kid interaction so this is the first time gem has had interaction with somebody that's really not only her own age but her own size because she's kind of small for her size and the uh the closest kid that she was born to is a giant so you just it's interesting to see her interact with somebody of her own size and to see them interact with these rapidly growing chickens that just grow so dramatically every week when we could see them they grow fast they they go fast also uh uh oh jesus the third thing conflict about your name uh considering going by cs oh me yeah what yeah i found out one of my uh there's another there's another chris gersberg who's actually like a a second cousin to me and i found him on twitter and he's i'm just looking at his twitter history and he's right a bunch of racist tweets oh

 

there you cannot prove to me that's not your account right the crazy thing is also a twilight zone enthusiast oh man so i was considered to serve man zone enthusiast uh rock sterling is a uh saint actually he's the basis of one of our cults of the month uh all right well the line's breaking up the line's breaking up here that's what it did see we you know i saw you're very polite bit by bit i want to back it up though and now now i'm wishing of i was we're still online i have been to england more than more almost more than anywhere that uh that i wasn't actually a place that i wasn't actually living um not once have i ever seen english muffins made available in any form anywhere ever i'm told they exist but i've never seen it right they're more of a biscuit kind of country right yeah yeah i just yeah i just think we're being lied it's like when you go to australia you can't buy fosters there you can but it's really hard technically can anyway i digress i'm i now i i'm guilty of exactly what i was just complaining to about elvira of doing and now i've just led us astray completely just ground us into it no i think we can handle look we can turn it around any other would you have any you've deep dives is there anything you need to know about me is there questions i'm allowed to ask you well you can ask questions at any point i have a very not i this is a horrible way to set up a question but a question that i i think the last one of the last times i saw you in human person in human form i'm sure i probably saw you many times that but so the thing that sticks out in my mind i was talking to you in the basement of a bar on houston street and you were telling me you had a les paul and you were thinking of selling it and i was i was saying wayne don't sell it don't sell it and so i was thinking i was like i wonder i hope you didn't sell it what do you have the less ball or did you sell the lessons i took your advice i did not sell it but i really should sell it and let me tell you why let me tell you why because i don't play it that often i don't play it enough and i feel like there's an old expression a ship in port is safe but that's not what a ship was built for and i feel that way about guitars like there might be some young kid who would just be wailing on it every night headphones oh i wanted to say walkman what was that little device that you know the rockman the rock man yeah yes i'm sure man uh you know just like in his bedroom hating his parents learning all the blue scales and all of that so any no i still have it i still have it do you have multiple guitars yes but not multiple electric guitars like i only have i have an acoustic guitar electric guitar electric bass ukulele that's it all right that's okay yeah yeah so i would buy another electric guitar just maybe right the sunday driver sort of speed yeah something i would use a little yeah oh oh so you're saying you think if you bought a different electric guitar you would use it a little more yeah i might use a little more oh okay i'm rethinking my answer and i i would say let it go then get something you like better because everything like more dave i have a very vivid memory of most of the gigs i do and i have a very vivid memory of that day that gig the people that drove up from that band we kind of opened for them a little bit do you remember any of that stuff i remember little details uh like they came from like dc or something like that and they were part of the tour yeah i'm trying to i'm sorry this is terrible terrible we're just reminiscing yeah we're remembering we're done with the super questions are they are there any more of those there aren't any uh pending right now oh those oh it's a couple of those people there's been a couple thank you super chats uh matt arnold okay well let's read it thank you we can read thank yous matt arnold said thank you and deb reed said thanks here's some money ah that must be great oh it's magical the the thing about the super chat is people pay the money but we have no idea how to retrieve it it's being held somewhere it's going to ask you to read that we don't i personally because it's somehow tied to the youtube channel and it's my youtube channel and i've gone in to say to myself hey dave where's the super chat money and i couldn't figure it out so it's it's like losing your bitcoin password well never your subscription to youtube premium it just they just roll it over into that we will never access the 47 that's accrued well i want to thank those people for asking those questions that was exciting for a little bit well hopefully it'll heat up everyone hit that super chat button you saw the kind of electricity it generated there's another or you can there's another super chat it's not really wait is it about oh it's not a question it's another thank you oh vira canaveral uh he said my electric bass ukulele is a great way to flow it's all about the flow see this is the and now wayne is learning the the dangers yes i've learned it i've learned it you keep holding those sticks up do you what what we should get some more drum gear yeah what's up with the sticks seven they're either seven a's or seven b's i don't remember they're all um i don't know that that's i don't think so i don't think they were worth but yeah i don't have an i don't have a bunch of sticks but i am i used to play drums as a kid when i went to college i gave up drums because i didn't want to be the guy like hey i'm your roommate here are my drums excuse me so so that's in the 70s i went to college in the late 70s and then three years ago bought drums again so it's all new it's so much exciting it is exciting it is exciting how now do you have uh neighbors that that uh how do your neighbors feel about my neighbors are fine i mean there's uh i don't know if you can see the zildjian symbols are like low they're like little holes in them and stuff so they're like soft symbols and stuff and i put little um like cloths over the drums and stuff and i only play during the day they so far they love me they love me but also you know i do i have a lot of music in this house i like that now what now what what are you waiting for no women no way so you you're no women but it's a lot of music but when when when when they finally get there you'll have gonna be multiple ways yeah exactly you can be like yeah i'd like playing those old-fashioned songs like uh i can't give you anything but love and all of that stuff so i know manchester england england it just i just said it's from hair it's from the musical hair in 1967 on broadway and then or maybe 69. oh nice can we pull that up chris i don't want you you you're going to get mounted youtube will take all your money away if you play any music at all so don't this is true we actually don't do that do not do that the song uh that we play every week as part of the intro to the show angel witch by the band angel which yeah from their album angel witch um there's a song they used to play on my wfmu show and david krumholz had never heard it before and he was on the show and wanted to hear it again and then we realized we should probably just play this song every week because it's so it was really amazing guitar solo is incredible it is it's it's it's an amazing song and then but as we've learned something about it the the video of this show when it go you know because people watch live and then it then it lives on on youtube and it is blocked in syria north korea ethereum and two other key markets for us uh i'm gonna commit guess those mark is it estonia and i'm gonna also guess uh uruguay i think that's right yeah that was just off the top my head just a wild crazy guess i love the olympics so i know countries what what is it about those i think that i think that's right why what is it about those countries that oh i will tell you i would say i think you're yeah it sounds right it might it is four countries i can't think of the other two and that sounds right i'm gonna double check to verify but that can't be right guys the only reason uh i was just thinking countries off the top of my head that's the category country's off the top of wayne fetterman's head for 40. let's go i love the baltic countries i love lithuania estonia latvia i'm to all of those countries me too i i want to get uh i was just starting to push east before all this hit yeah yeah and uh and i didn't i have not made it i how often do you win england i used to go as much as like four times a year and then would you say you have a sizable following over there i'm considered a genius um no i mean enough that i'm able to go there and um and i you know as i say i can fill a basement anywhere anywhere on earth you give me a basement i saw you on houston there you go yeah you've lived it you've lived

 

um that's awesome

 

enough for me to show up i'll just keep coming both plus you know it's a way to uh travel under the guise of work i you know i'm not good at not good at taking vacations so you know you just booked exactly alike we're exactly alike on that like i love traveling for work even if it's the slightest slimmest read of an idea you know just the thing and like oh i'm going to do one show i i yes no question yeah because it's hard it's hard to because i don't know you know i think but i i think i just feel too guilty or self-loathing to say hey you've earned it kid go somewhere and relax so i always and then i go and and i go to these places and i do the shows and i think damn it i wish i didn't have a show and i could just have go have dinner somewhere but you can't you have to do that so i've had i've had drinks in many places but i've rarely have any dinners anywhere right do you want to hear the four countries uh yes yes yeah so you said syria and north korea already right uh cuba oh cuba by the way i've been there go ahead continue and iran okay iran wait you so you've been to cuba yeah i went to i guess i mean the statute of limitations are up illegally went there in the 90s uh for a bachelor party and i would say the most absolutely mind-blowing decadent bachelor party i've ever been to in my life i mean i couldn't believe what was happening it was it was insane i still think about it without incriminating yourself or anyone else can you give us a taste of what of of the good times well it was good and scary um there was a club i cannot remember the name but we stayed at the hotel the nation in that nation now i'm saying it wrong but just nationally in that can't say it um that sounds right and there was an incredible cuban woman that uh we wanted to bring back to the room smart thing knew the internet the early internet the whole thing they wouldn't let her in there was no you if you were cuban you were not allowed in the hotel and they could spot her it was incredible like she can't get in with you guys yeah and like the chamber like the chamber mays were like nurses and like it was just a very weird place but there's this nightclub i wish i could remember the name of it with where you walked in and literally just because you were a tourist or i had money or something like all the girls were kind of semi kind of prostitutes but would hang with you all night let me just go gorgeous women and it was just like oh this is how mick jagger feels when he comes to uh when he goes to a club this is i could i mean it was to this day it was still mind-blowing how did you did you go through canada to get there i do no mexico oh i went through mexico yeah i gotta get i think i got jimmy on the phone i want to get him on quick before wayne has to go yeah oh wow what this is this could just wayne you have no idea how the timing of the magic that's about okay wait the magic that awaits you jimmy there me hey yeah dez how you doing man great jimmy say hi to wayne hey wayne how are you man fine thank you jimmy yes this is jimmy from kearney legend hey dave hey chris hey jimmy i can't see any screen but i think everybody was there

 

what's happening i'm hanging in

 

i just did my taxes it's amazing how you can make like fecal matter in earnings and still have to pay but then again somewhere's gotta somebody's got several new you know yachts out there and everything since the cuts of 17 so what are you gonna do yeah but i shouldn't bellyache about my situation although i was diagnosed with strep throat hey look jimmy

 

every day like i'm gonna perform liver surgery on someone jimmy i i don't i don't mean to interrupt you i don't mean to interrupt you bro i even go out with jimmy can you can you hear me yeah hey dave how are you doing listen i didn't mean to interrupt you but you know wayne has leaving us in a minute here and as anyone who's ever heard you call the show before is well aware you have the voice of an angel i know uh yeah he's mentioned himself but i wondering if before wayne has to leave and we encourage everyone to buy his new book the history of stand up which i will plug again yeah i'm looking forward to it is there any way you could give us a taste of a little something before you go yeah as i said i was diagnosed with strep yourself i'm not pavarotti i'm not gonna blow out my vocal cords i don't think just yeah just let it breathe what's my income right now you know it's singing okay i'm gonna i'm gonna do something that's relevant i think sort on the chat board okay and i like it too it's one of the best songs i think from the play so okay and i think you've added less hey less set up hit it okay all right manchester england england across the atlantic sea and i'm a genius genius i believe in god and i believe that god believes in oh we lost him jimmy i apologize someone went wrong with the phones there flared it out but uh it was incredible he knew the song i think it's from hair i think it might be from god spell but it's one of definitely one of those two no question well jimmy if if you're out there still thank you that was a treat that was incredible with strep throat yeah power and through i for one moment i thought that was gonna be jimmy page because you know i have a les paul guitar for one moment i thought that was you're just in times like okay it's not quite jimmy page

 

next jimmy down the line can i say to dez can i say to chris and to you dave especially thank you so much for having me i got to go teach a class thank you so much for joining us and uh everyone get wayne's book the history of stand up it's amazing oh and there it is there it is there it is there it is this is a slick show we have the cover i love it i love it i love it um all right i'm gonna leave you gotta run you guys do your thing keep going thank you so much wayne thanks great to see you let's do this again sometime yes please there he goes everyone everyone everyone grabbed this book the history of stand-up it's really great um

 

i've been uh reading it loving it and he's he's gone gonna teach class so uh now we're now we're in reverse we're like at the beginning of the show now but at the end of the show yeah we're left to our own devices we have a call we're gonna go right into it let's get into it

 

you there caller oh it's me they are hello i'm here who's colin um carrie from brooklyn long time no oh carrie from brooklyn hello how are you where you been it's a hard it's a it's a hard time uh you know like i'm a late night oh i'm a late night caller someone talk you know oh yes you know making it you know at the early time but i've tried my best tonight cut the tail end how are you guys oh doing all right doing all right what's happening i was just swimming i ran to go swimming um where did you go swimming where's chris by the way why can't we see chris he's i guess tending to a something that needs tending okay fair enough i'm sorry i interrupted you carrie he's holding space um i i can't i can't withholding space anymore um i i just went to this gym where um it has a pool and no one ever no one's ever there i'm afraid to even say what it is because everyone might join and i'm i'm just like it's so great except that i'm always afraid it's gonna close any minute you know because no one's ever there i mean like closed permanently oh yeah it's already like it's already flooded out like the synagogue and the german school in the building and then yeah now i'm afraid it's like there's a what do you mean it's flooded out what do you mean well i don't know like both of these places had to like i had to move for a while because supposedly the pool because on the seventh floor supposedly to pull a leak into these spaces that's precarious i'm also like will the pool will the pool just fall down seven stories and i'll land i have my concerns i'll be honest

 

i'm always concerned when a pool is not on the ground floor or in the basement even yeah

 

is that even existing i've i have concerns about a pool even existing you got to reinforce that two or three times over i think yeah maybe clean it like drain it i mean i guess what hap i mean i guess they took it out i guess they took all the water out and like scraped out the rust and filled it up again just like run a hose out the window though i mean to the sink

 

it's on my pool

 

i would be so nervous to be in charge of a pool i just feel like so many things can go wrong the leaking you mentioned yeah people peeing in it with great frequency i would can only assume um nobody stopped the designer and said this isn't a good idea that sounds like you're getting rid of drowning

 

but now drowning like the water current changes colors when somebody is in the pool is that true that i thought that was that's a that's a lie they've been saying for like yeah they used to tell us that when when i was a kid and it i don't think it ever actually it's not true because i've tested it i've tested it into my 30s i've tested it

 

did you ever poop in the pool did i ever what i've peed in the pool any of you ever poop in the pool no that's never pooped in the pool that's a step too i feel like if you to to do a number two uh i mean you'd have to take your your uh bathing suit off will you that would be you would hope but it would just i just think it's a bad eye no one wins there no not that anyone wins with the peeing but i tend to think that the peeing when you think of the amount of if you were to pee in a pool hypothetically the amount of pee is diluted so much and then the chemicals it can't be much worse than all the snot and saliva that's in there you're all like at least something just doesn't strike me as a real concern

 

and they when they got rid of the german school too

 

say that again there's a german school that was affected by the leaky pool why was there there's just a german school in the middle of brooklyn like a school for germans or to teach the german language good question um i think like mostly like for germans in new york but like maybe also some like germaphiles is that a word deutsche file germa maybe deutsche sounds like somebody loves germs um i'm a bit of a a a deutsche file i guess if that's a word definitely an anglophile i'm definitely an english club but i'm a big fan of germany for sure i'm a francophile the weird thing about germany i'll say and this is um this is a dangerous thing to say for a country that i love so much it's the only place um only country that i really love where i don't necessarily encourage interacting with the people that much not that they're not delightful they're completely delightful but they stand like two inches closer than you're comfortable with

 

it's the only it's the only bad thing i could say about the the country i love it it's an absolute beautiful landscape people are lovely but everyone stands when you're talking you're like i wish they were about two inches back that's just just a tiny bit totally but it's just you're like just two inches that's all i need

 

but i don't know weird because rulabiters you know general i've i've probably heard my uh upcoming shows in germany by saying that

 

i've just have to come closer everyone's gonna like just stand in the top row actually the last the last country i think the last country i was in beside the last country i was in pre-pandy was germany i'm pretty sure how long before germany berlin i think the last unless i'm mistaken i think the last time i was out of the country was november of uh 2019 as the last unless i went somewhere else maybe i was somewhere else after that i can't remember but i think that was the last place i was was berlin now your parents guess i could you know how i could check i could look on my phone and i could look at photos but then you guys that's how i would do it i know i'm not going to do it now i'm just saying my inner detective was like how could you figure this out dave and my passport my passport is too hard to read plus i don't i don't have it with me right now because i sent i had to send in for a new one because it's expiring so it's it's uh it's probably sitting on a shelf somewhere i hope not i hope it's ready to come to me jump into my loving arms um how are you doing uh pool issues aside kerry in brooklyn

 

um okay you know it's been like a little roughness endemic i mean you know obviously not alone um it's been really hard on my kids there's two boys cool is one of them cool cool is one of them bo the francophile means the other um yeah and they you know just to remote stuff you know it's bad it's all bad yeah it's working on the kids it's coming it's ending it's coming to an end and they're lucky they're in school now full time in person it is hopefully coming to an end that's making a huge difference yeah can i say maggot-minded in the chat says covet passport only one that matters how what is the coveted passport i've seen stuff about this on the news but they don't say how you can get it it's like i guess like a little card saying you've had your shots they're saying that some countries are going to demand proof that you've had the the vaccine but how how how will one be able to prove it you use your little sticker like the krispy kreme will give you a free donut for the same thing it's probably gonna be a stamp your card that can't that ca but there has to be some database somewhere right that has i think there is a database but i don't think that there is really any way to prove that you i mean i i think i've read that people are already forging them yeah so i just don't see a raised seal or anything it's it's just like a card but what i mean the card that that like i got the first vaccine and i'm getting the next one thursday um but that's all i have is the card like there's is there any proof and in a computer somewhere i got the first one what did you get they

 

i just got a card also that's it i just got a card from the air force you know they they sign me in i know so like so what happens then like is that is there somewhere like can you when you go through customs will they be able to look up whether you're vaccinated or not like is there a database anywhere

 

why is it such a shitshow well we know why it is i mean we know why it is but i but how they keep talking about this on the news the the covid passport but how would you get one if if the only proof is this cardboard piece of cardboard that i've been carrying around on my wallet which yeah as you said chris seems like anyone can forge

 

easily yeah have i have i just busted this thing wide open now we're going to have to get here they're encouraging everyone right now is like passport uh i don't i don't wouldn't i would encourage everyone to just get the vaccine maggot mind is going to be encoded into the microchip i mean i i know a lot of people who will not get the vaccine do you i don't know anyone no couple i don't know i know a few idiots yeah defense

 

you know people in new york who won't get it yep why don't they want to get it because because um it's too early you don't know what's in it you don't know what the effects are going to be um like how many of these people vape

 

that's always yeah it's like they either smoke cigarettes or they they drink horrible [ __ ] like soda and then all of all my relatives in colorado who are like trumpers they won't get it because there's aborted fetuses an aborted fetus of a 14 week old boy in the vaccine apparently i mean one boy this one yeah they're like praying for this boy non-stop the 14 week old boy who's in the vaccine everybody's got their uh oh boy

 

yeah but th this idea of people that are like oh it's too soon it's like if you unless you're like growing your own food in organic soil and like if you're partaking in society in any way that argument is already out the window because all all the food we eat everything is just absolute [ __ ] so why would you why would you question uh a vaccine i know you're like squeezing yourself on the rank and then you're like no my body's a temple yeah like if you've if you've bought a chicken breast at the grocery store like you're already so far off to the races i think it's more likely people thinking just that they don't trust you know whatever kind of institution is going to be administering these shots everybody people who think they're kind of smarter than the next guy i think that might be it more than just you know i don't want this in my mind that's what it comes down to people just think that they know more than other people their skepticism is the best skepticism in the world so they're not going to not going to go that way if you if you have a cell phone

 

what's that

 

i'm just saying there are all those doctors who like quit being like official doctors to go you know at the beginning of the pandemic you know who are like getting fired who wanted to use the i don't remember what's the stuff they wanted to administer and they weren't letting them and how'd you call like hydroxide oh yeah yeah that and so there's like a big team of doctors and they all look like they're like on a tv show and they're constantly doing youtube i'm constantly being sent these things by all these various um people where they're like these doctors are real doctors and they don't believe in it you know yeah that's gonna be the biggest mess i would have no problem if all the anti-vaxxers would just uh die but uh the unfortunately is it's bad for everybody if it were as simple as like oh those people will just die i would be like well we tried but uh it's just not that simple unfortunately but hopefully places like new york will be uh you know a nice be like an oasis pretty vast and you know that way

 

i'm stoked i'm faxed what do you think it's to be like crazy like you know people are saying roaring 20s like it's gonna be like a love fest in the streets or do you think people are gonna be super timid and like you know tiptoeing back and like i think by summer people are gonna how do you think it's gonna go forget that we were ever on lockdown yeah i i'm personally gonna tiptoe though to be fair i'm i tiptoe anyway in life like i don't hang out with large groups of people ever so yeah this is up to my except to my shows the huge crowds who come out to my shows but uh no i don't i i wouldn't i don't go where there are a lot of people anyway i only go to bars that no no one wants to go to restaurants that old ladies go to i don't know a baseball game that's i'm starting i'm itching to go to a baseball game that's about it really it's just and not even like to see a gamer but just to have the option to just get on a train and i want to go to a movie that's what i've been dying for yeah i'm kind of like in a theater i might be done with the movie theater except for like very special occasions but i i stopped going to movie theaters once someone explained to me that uh when people fart feces get stuck in the movie seat and then i was like i'm out i've never heard that that happens i know no it's true when you when you fart some people i think it takes a special buttock to do it but uh like a really what about restaurants and planes i mean wouldn't it all be every well everything i i i pretty much operate assuming we're living in the middle ages like everything i actually met an epidemiologist once and i said give it to me straight is everything covered in semen in feces or not and they said yep it is they said basically everything every flat surface if it can hold still it's been [ __ ] on basically and basically everything is semen feces in urine every anything everywhere is covered so uh as if you weren't washing your hands so what's the difference at the movie theater then i mean um but but well there's just the butts people are in there they're like they're they're shifting around you know they might also be like holding the farts in and then letting and then they're like 20 times worse you know wait yeah they're waiting for a big laugh for a scream and then they're just letting it rip

 

i'm just saying you know you need all that like you need to no not i don't disagree i like i think um to some extent it's good to ingest as much semen and feces we gotta see as you as you can let's go to the super chat you sure about that yeah jesse seaman super chat this isn't a this isn't a question so much as just a um i guess a people yeah a statement uh dems is from rob jackson who said dems blew a chance to solve this no vaccine no stimulus payments can't take thousands from the government and then ruin the vacs nudge to hurt immunity that's it and moving right on

 

oh i don't disagree with that that's smart he's saying that to get to get the uh stimulus payment you have to get the vaccine i think that's smart oh that would have been good oh oh i thought okay i was reading that as like a question uh no no no he yeah he's saying um i agree yeah yeah i think that's wise i mean you know we we all have so many unless you're uh jenny mccarthy's kids everyone you have many vaccines in you already

 

plus you know if you want to if you want to really question uh the vaccine i think um i wouldn't mind if if it's like something's going to kill me a little early not that i'm concerned about the vaccine uh i don't this world is so messed up if they were like if they later were like oh the vaccine's gonna take 10 years off your life fine fine why why do i want to stay around for all this fine

 

there's just no argument against the vaccine that makes any sense right like 10 years less of like being kept alive 10 years too long i know like i'm really only looking to get a good five years more maybe and even that even that even that i'm not sure what i'm gonna do with that last two um come on go for seven no you know listen i'd first to admit it uh these looks will fade one day i know everyone's like uh you know dave you're you'll be a diamond till the day you die but these looks are going to fade i don't know when it could be not even gray no i know i mean i'm saying it you know i could have these looks for another 40 years but someday i'm just saying it's gonna go south it's gonna happen right right it's not i mean there's no no no signs of it now i'm more i'm more gorgeous than ever but i'm just saying it's going to happen i don't know when i don't feel you know any aches and pains i know people talk about getting older i don't i still feel about 16 in most ways not here i felt like stan tom is about 25 and then that was it you started feeling old age at 25 not old age but just like kind of like you start looking back at pictures of yourself and you're like oh i've looked the same start noticing since high school and then i feel like past 25 is when you start to notice like oh yeah i'm i've changed my nose is grown you know oh no there's there's visual changes i keep getting getting some like baby fat but you don't know you still look good i look better and better i have a misheard lyric actually chris yeah in the ac dc song um shook me all night long is it she's got thankless eyes or sagless thighs

 

i don't know i think it's thankless eyes isn't it yeah i heard the song today and i for a second i thought he said sagless thighs and you know that could probably work too stagless dies that's that's ladies that's lazy uh lyric writing if that were the case well um well carrie carrie from brooklyn thank you so much yeah um and i hope to see you in person soon in the big city

 

wait what happened did we lose dennis right here

 

what do you guys think of this okay see oh see you carrie i thought i thought she's like go i can't don't be rude dez i thought i was i thought i used my inside voice on that i'm sorry you don't say go and say goodbye thank you thank you don't say go yeah i mean you have the power times i know if the system was i panicked for it so you're so you and you said go you were yelling at the system you weren't yelling at carrie correct is that that would have okay i would never sorry sorry carrie sorry uh he was yelling at the phone system yes um i wanted to say what do you guys think of this uh someone someone wrote to me today said why and this is someone that obviously doesn't listen to this show they said why did you leave new york you [ __ ] someone wrote dm to me this on instagram

 

uh i didn't recognize who the person was and so i said i i didn't leave new york i've been uh out of new york taking care of uh an at-risk person the last year uh not that i needed to explain myself to this person but when they called me a thought a [ __ ] i was like do you owe them like 20 bucks or something no but i think people i've noticed this thing where people feel like uh well hey hey of all i have i i've still paid full written utilities in new york this whole past year i'm returning i've been taking care of an at-risk person this past year and uh even if i did leave and weren't coming back what does anyone care like like really am i the tentpole of new york city there were people there were people in the in the comedy world who were like bookers and stuff who on twitter were saying if you left new york during com during covid then you should be the last to get spots when you come back is there a higher who said who said this i don't want to name names but it was said a while ago there was a big controversy about it oh [ __ ] all those people that's the ghost i don't know if they knew that you had left i feel like if they did they would have not said that i mean anyone you know whatever i don't give a [ __ ] don't give a [ __ ] i don't even know if i'll perform anymore um uh well no i mean in in america i have no interest no um

 

uh no but i think that's really stupid the people that go there's nothing like i don't think anyone staying in any one place is any sort of hero or yeah it's like you're not helping new york by staying what are you helping i mean i would have stayed had i not had responsibilities elsewhere i would have we would have left if we didn't have three cats to take care of but but i think but i i think that the these people that think that they're uh staying in one place or versus another is it's meaningless doesn't mean anything

 

so there the whole time plus plus half these people that are saying this will be living in [ __ ] denver by 2023 anyway so they can [ __ ] off i mean i've lived i've spent more than 20 years of my life in new york so yeah get back to me when you've been in new york that long

 

punk punk i'm sorry anyway all by way of saying my point was was not that this person had asked me the question but that they said you [ __ ] and i think that they i think that they said you [ __ ] as if i as if they thought they could be familiar with me and and joke around and say you [ __ ] yeah i get that a lot you ever i think i've we've talked about this where like people feel like the need to roast you because you're you know you're involved in comedy or something but like sometimes people i don't even know and they're just being mean to me and i'm like what though oh i know yeah there is that's what i think this person was doing and i was just like no like i'm just a guy you can't just swear at me because you think that i'll think that's funny i don't know you is he trying to play into some of your uh persona so to speak you know um the tough guy image out there looking for the county punks i think so uh probably you know maybe probably you need like a code word

 

yeah i don't know um it just uh i just i don't like when people get familiar and use profanities

 

anyway step back hold on i use profanities back there you go did you reply or you just let it flap in the breeze no i replied replied it i said i've been taking care of an elderly person ah and then you go you it was much worse it was much worse than that good job i i uh and then i then i i was gonna let it go and i was like i'm gonna block this person

 

i blocked him that's that and people say well [ __ ] around anyway found out no but uh we are out of time i'm sorry to end this uh by just profanities and and uh held it together for a long time earlier it's like that but uh you know whatever um i just don't like swears when people are making swears

 

squares in their underwears

 

this guy is just goddamn not count i know i think god damn people it made him uncomfortable the whole time it was the goddamn dave hill show every week he was like i don't know it's true the reason the reason um yeah it did make me uncomfortable be only because people misinterpret it as profanity whereas

 

i the reason with the goddamn dave hill show the reason i it was called that was just sort of thinking um i was anticipating someone listening to wfmu and then my show coming on and having them be disappointed in them and say oh it's the goddamn dave hill show so it was really coming from a place of self-loathing that's how it played out i mean i never took it any other way it was not meant to be profane but then it always made me uncomfortable because my dad didn't like it and then as if my own dad not liking it weren't bad enough as i've stated many times mary lou henner told me that she didn't like it and i was like i don't marry lou henner i am a big fan and uh i've done her show a couple times and she's an amazing human being and i thought when mary lou henner tells you not to swear or you don't swear so it bothered me doubly after she said it and it ate me alive and now here i am dropping f-bombs when i said we shouldn't um anyway let's ride off into the sunset thanks to wayne fetterman everyone get his book the history of stat stand up the history of stand up available now great book price to move as you mentioned it's only 11.99 in paperback form thank you boy criminal chris kurzbeck thank you and thank you new jersey chicken rancher dez and thanks to everyone watching live thanks to everyone listening in the futuristic podcast format we'll see you next time i'm sorry to north korea syria iran and cuba

 

you