Drop everything and check out the latest episode of The Dave Hill Goodtime Hour that begins with Dave and Chris suspecting a mysteriously absent Dez is trapped under some old phone books and ends with Dave, Chris and a very-much-alive Dez welcoming comedian Nikki Bon to the program to discuss her new podcast Whoa, Dad! and her mom, who is totally hot and stuff. Recorded live April 5, 2021.
Drop everything and check out the latest episode of The Dave Hill Goodtime Hour that begins with Dave and Chris suspecting a mysteriously absent Dez is trapped under some old phone books and ends with Dave, Chris and a very-much-alive Dez welcoming comedian Nikki Bon to the program to discuss her new podcast Whoa, Dad! and her mom, who is totally hot and stuff. Recorded live April 5, 2021.
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dark shadow is moving in the woods and i have no doubt that whatever i have resurrected through this book is sure to come calling for me david you look absolutely terrific honestly
this is where the worst begins this is where we must stop for beyond is the work of madness the nightmare of insane murder
get inside and lock your doors
close your windows
someone is watching you
someone wants to scare you to death this is albert from the tuesday show you're listening to the goddamn dave hill show now on a flipping monday
oh
nobody else can see you the same way
is
is
why do you run away i never hurt you
no
no you're an angel witch i nailed it nailed it i nailed it that was maybe the slickest oh
just when i thought i was really getting slick i don't have the sound off on my playback video
oh what is what's life really um anyway hello and welcome to the dave hill good time hour with me dave hill from before hi how are you i'm electric thank you so much for asking how are you doing boy criminal chris gerstbeck i'm great great fantastic got my first dose of the vaccine today so what what uh do you know what did you get there i got the mederna dirno that is uh uh shamrock shake that's all that's in it is that is that the green [ __ ] and i you see you read the you read the fake news i read there i got the real news on what's going on with the vaccine uh yeah that is the green shake uh available at mcdonald's only during the thanksgiv the uh st patrick's day season could they do that this year still because it seems like it'd be weird i i think that yeah they did actually i have confirmation from my friend jason our ducey bass player for bob moldband super chunk and singer guitar player for a split single um he has he gave me confirmation actually i talked to him recently and he took he this is very nice thing he takes his children every year to get a shamrock shake and he's been doing it for i think he said his oldest kid is like 28. wow yeah well he had a kid when he was very young and then he's had kids more recently um so they span uh there's quite a range and he says so he's been doing it for 28 years he said well maybe the first couple years of the older kid he didn't take i don't know what age the body can fight back from a shamrock shake and defend itself i'd say i say once you get to like 15 16 it starts to disagree with your oh that's when your body says no more oh i disagree i don't i couldn't tell you last time i had a shamrock shake but i feel like if this year has taught me anything i think i could enjoy i've eaten a lot of things in this past year that uh i thought i was done with but um guess who really likes craft macaroni cheese me this guy i thought i was like i'll probably never eat that again no you're wrong dave you eat it twice a week now um twice a week is that is that uh that's accurate probably probably at least once a week let's say i eat it we don't we we should elephant in the room we lit quite literally do i have no idea where new jersey chicken rancher dez is um so we should probably take the number down because he's the guy with the phone good call uh because until if i don't i i feel like science point to dez is not going to show up tonight we don't we literally it feels like uh he was like took a nap after work or something that's the vibe theory because he texted me just yesterday of the day before with such enthusiasm for the show uh and we don't know where he is but we should take the number down and then dare i say uh unless he shows up maybe we should go back to our uh old practice of is the zoom link still in the thing um no because it's a different link but i can throw this as hell let's throw it in the chat and then we'll take calls via um zoom anyone put it in on twitter as well so any riffraff on earth oh no just zoom right in this could be why not why not you know uh i i got i got my second vaccine on this past thursday and i'm feeling invincible
you got the second one yeah so you're fully uh i'm rock yeah i'm rock solid you thought i was gonna say something else did you get your did you get your veils into all the comedy clubs oh because i have double vaccines yeah there's i you know i did actually um because i'm heading back to new york very shortly so i was like oh i should now that i'm invincible i guess i should get my avails out there you know i'm going to come back slowly to dominance um i think honestly no wait it's going to say the last
that it's completely inaccurate what i was about to say it was a self-aggrandizing statement that's not even close to true i was going to say the last venue in new york that i performed at was town hall but that's not true i i think the last one actually was either mercury lounge or eastfield comedy club both wonderful venues don't get me wrong oh we are we already have a couple people here and uh in the zoom let me i have a feeling about it let me just say before we i have uh as you know always reading chris yeah mine the new book i'm hot on and i've been jumping around so much i i continue to enjoy the nothing but a good time book yeah i gotta uh by uh tom bozzo and richard beanstalk but i started reading i got it in the mail it's not even out in america i don't think yet but don do you know don letts yeah yeah i saw you posted the picture of that i want to read a vid uh director musician dj he has a great show on bb6 radio they listen to all the time and uh he was in big audio dynamite filmmaker he made the punk rock movie he's in literally every documentary about punk rock i think this is accurate like him henry rollins and uh dave grohl or something like they show up in every single one he's awesome um and uh oh danny d writes i have nothing to do with dez's disappearance i swear i've refused to believe it because if if anyone could be playing a hand in in this i believe it could be danny d the pride of rahway new jersey um no but i started reading reading um his new book i think it comes out in america in may but i was so excited to read it that i ordered it from the uk it's called there in black i don't have it in front of me but it's great and it's just all about it's basically i think ideally like i would have if i had a do-over in life i would have grown up in london and like the 60s yeah i used to think that i didn't do over london for me like late 70s early 80s
sweet yeah i'm still i'm not ruling out going there and just being a drunken old man
um i watched last night for about the 47th time with nell and i have you seen that no what's that oh you gotta get on it there's no it's it's not part of the star wars uh franchise um it's a movie you should watch but i wasn't interested takes place in london and then the countryside but they're they're smoking and drinking throughout and i had a couple glasses of wine during the movie but i was like this movie makes you want to smoke and drink throughout the whole movie even though you know you would feel very sick the next day i did not but it's a great movie you should watch it tonight when we're through you know what i watched on netflix is the eric andre movie bad trip oh i want to watch that and then realize he had a movie oh it's amazing it's uh i've watched it three times already oh wow it's just so good movie or is it it's like scripted but any interaction with the public was like they were unwitting participants so it's all pranks but there is like a plot line like kind of like like the borax movies but it's like these people had no idea that there's any cameras or anything it's it's really really funny oh nice i gotta recommend big fan and a delightful fellow as well yeah um should we let some uh people keep kind of entering the waiting room let's do it against my better judgment um we have an incredible guest who will be with us shortly nikki bond
um who has a great new podcast whoa dad which we'll get all into but yeah let's let let's let's let's take a zoom call see where that gets us do you think dez is trapped in a bunch of like trapped under a bunch of old phone books how did i know that this was gonna be elvira canaveral it's not working go to the next call oh there he is hello hello you're fine folks how's it going it's it's going well i i got my second pfizer shot this morning uh it it uh it is a great relief and my wife gets her first shot later this week so why are you not uh why didn't you get it together and you don't have to answer that question i realized maybe prying into your no i'm diabetic type 1 not that poser type 2 stuff um and uh so put me on up on the list oh nice well congrats kudos yep see even got the uh oh you didn't tell me you had sick tats uh this was my first tattoo it's 23 symbols with repeating binary code of 23. yeah yeah i figured i figured it was i figured it was um um i actually came in to drop some english muffin knowledge on yeah good see this is the kind of content we need this this is uh the english muffin as i used to spend a lot of time in england in london uh is known as a muffin
and they also have our kind of muffins with the floofy tops but they know the difference between like a breakfast sandwich muffin and another kind of american muffin like i i also have a insight on a better way to prepare an english muffin because you you got to split it yeah so a lot of people will use a knife which is both dangerous because then you can leave the bagel hand the number one injury on sundays in hospital rooms where you slice your hand is a bagel a cut of a bagel yeah the most the most common injury is people on sundays slicing open a bagel and then slicing into their hand in who cuts a bagel with her hand on the other side of it very stupid people who have to go to the emergency room but with an english muffin you don't even use a knife you use a fork and you use the fork to split the side that way you get uneven nooks and crannies but it doesn't tear through and then you get a better question i'm not sure i might be calling [ __ ] on that method but i will say though you you probably did save a life though i feel like um uh between uh crumpets and english muffins with the crumpet being rubberier all right these are things i wasn't wondering and but now i'm now i'm clear on um all right well thank you we have a few calls that we got to get through before uh okay you have some uh you have a uh base
what happened next time oh he's going to play himself out i like it yeah
all right let's go to the next zoom call thank you thank you elvira canaveral uh that was it there are some people in the waiting room but they're not there anymore we've lost them we've enraged them
everyone should just click on the link oh you know what i put the wrong i put the wrong link in oh you there of a [ __ ] oh no you son of a [ __ ] no but i must have put the right one in because people did get in i think just now i put the wrong one in our ratings are down it's really hurting our ratings i blame dez i know no dez he's the straw that deserves the drink oh wait we got someone here jessica jessica kyle is joining us from uh parts unknown
there she is jessica kybel oh what is that what let's have some sound she's on uh mute she's on me we can't hear you i'm sorry i don't zoom much i never heard of this i'm making bread tonight oh wow look at that i thought i'd share that with you since you're the king of toast i am the king of toast the prince of porridge uh it's just white bread i i don't i don't bake a lot but you can watch me put it in the oven because that's right where i am now i'd like that to get hot what does your shirt say your shirt your shirt looks it has some profanity on it yes yes we love the profane and the and the weird and the awkward i'll show you in a second
okay guys 25. for anyone listening to the futuristic podcast form she's putting bread in an oven
oh [ __ ] oh okay it's uh blondie ah love it yeah i love them i love partying too oh i'm adequate i mean we're both vaxxed we're vaccine and relaxed and basically i got my first one um last week and so a couple more weeks i get the second one i'm very excited that's just science what one did you get moderna oh it's gonna you look like you got murdered do i yeah yeah you can tell people have like a different glow depending on what which is like the better one tired is one more effective than the other or is it pretty much no i just took the ones that they gave me i'm not really all that big that's all you can do yeah yeah that's all you can do yeah whichever one whichever one i mean you know what i was already sick so the chances are i'm probably going to be okay anyway what do you mean you were already sick like you already had last year like with what covet oh oh so you you that's like a triple vaccine if you get covet and then the vaccine but i was never tested so yeah i got sick right before they announced it because i had gone on a trip to san antonio you got sick before it was cool and run around yeah i got sick before it was cool basically and that weird little window from between my return trip and there must be someone on the plane i guess i mean that's all i could think but yeah i was pretty sick i was in bed for a long time i think that might be how i found this show oh and i want to see it came out good coming from bad sure i know well without kovitt i'd this show we wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for a global pandemic if it weren't for millions of people dying we wouldn't be doing this well we talked before once about a renaissance and and uh so many people are doing so many interesting things right now all over the place i think new york's gonna be a lot of fun for the next couple of decades you know well i uh a new 99 cent pizza place went in around the corner from my apartment uh so if that's any indication or consistent with what you're saying i think the townie punks are gonna all be hanging out i i'm pretty sure i'm bringing my bike back next week so i'm gonna be patrolling are you gonna bring the towny punks back with you you should kidnap there are towny punks everywhere yeah that's true that's true everywhere oh dangerous snakes everywhere there are well dangerous snakes is a global operation by now that incredible reach it's all over the world it can't be stopped
um for you to tell us all to rise up like the q a people right i my plan for the dangerous snakes once things got returned back to normal i wanted to be even you know still stomping out [ __ ] in all its forms but it would be nice to um i would like to see no no no storm white castle storm white castle that's a great idea uh no uh like random acts of kindness would be like yeah a bunch of dangerous snakes left me a margarita pizza on my night shift at the nurse's bay last night or like uh a guy handing a thousand dollars to the mcdonald's take a drive-thru girl yeah that kind of stuff you'd be like yeah i went out to cut my lawn this morning and dangerous snakes had already done it oh yeah we got a bunch of we got a foot of snow last night i i uh i went outside with my shovels dangerous snakes that already plowed it that kind of stuff we're gonna need some kind of stuff stencil kits to send to people you know it's like they can tag it yeah it's gonna be like the biodegradable paint the modern incarnation of the elks or something you know the dangerous snakes yeah yeah but like none of the creepy stuff yeah just all wet then basically all you know most societies of any sort are you know i so dangerous has to fight against all the creepiness that's come before it but we need to um we should we're gonna fight against selfishness dave yeah yeah no it's gonna be like margarita pizza like oh my god like last night um i uh i walked out of uh you know i just done a double and uh i walked out of work and um i got handed a big a bag of curly fries by a dangerous snake that sort of thing yeah were they cajun yeah they were cajun that's my favorite so we're gonna have to start a hashtag on instagram it's gonna happen um did you go look and see i think you might be able to get back on twitter right now no thanks sister why why i hate twitter because i love instagram more than twitter i like pictures no twitter being i you know even though i was the best at twitter as most people acknowledge um not being on twitter is uh is great twitter is a completely pointless endeavor very calming uh i think everyone should delete it in a perfect world that wouldn't exist it's just it's complete nothing good comes of it no one goes on twitter and leaves in like a better mood i do i just go there to play games i play games on twitter that's why i use twitter all right we don't have time for this but if but if you're someone's really funny i will follow them until they're annoying you just said you don't like you just said you like instagram better you literally do but i love playing games and nobody plays games on instagram start a game and i'll stay on instagram i hate games who i love i truly hate games like any and all kinds of games yeah basically
i don't even know what candyland is no like if i go to your house and you're like hey do you want to play trivia pursuit do you want to play monopoly do you want to play werewolf do you want to play mafia i'm not the [ __ ] door it's the werewolf and mafia are the worst they're these parlor games i have nightmare stories of having been dragged into playing these games can i just we met one of mine we gotta go because we gotta get our guests on let's see we we need to we need to let jessica go um good night guys good night thanks jessica i'll jump in and show you a finished spread okay please yes zoom back in a bit but we got to get our guests ready in a second um no uh what's it called werewolf you've never played these games they're like you go to someone's house and then they're like everyone sit down and close your eyes it's the biggest it's the greatest hell on earth i think like probably when i was that age we already had video games so we didn't do stuff like that no no this is something that happened like in the last few years of my life oh oh you mean like you go to like an adult party and someone's like we're playing werewolf it happened to me twice within a two week period i can't name the people i was at a hollywood party with a lot of famous people a very small party like a dozen people but several of them were quite famous because you know i'm a fancy lad and so i thought oh this is a fun little get-together chatting with celebrity ex and and whatever not naming who these stars today are and and then all of a sudden we had to play this game and i was like well i was having fun just chatting and drinking some wine why can't we just do that and then you play this game where everyone's like bluffing and not talking they're like oh dave is very he's uh i don't trust him he's really quiet and bluffing i'm like no i'm i'm just i just met you guys and i'm miserable that's what you're picking up on and i want to get out of here but i don't know how to extricate myself from this situation so i did that and then i went to london friend invites me over you say hey do you want to come over i'm having a little dinner party i walk in almost an identical scenario like a bunch of british celebrities and i'm like oh wow this is interesting i like these boys wanted to meet this person chat with them and then you start chatting and then at one point someone's like hey let's play this game that's a [ __ ] nightmare and it happened all over again anyway yeah i just got a text from dez that he's he's on his way so he's on his way well
i can't stay mad at him uh i have to go grab our guests but i guess we can we can wait till dez gets here and then you're not stuck by yourself unless you want to talk to our audience this kid you know hey i can just talk to myself all night long um yeah i would say we could take some calls but we can do that go get our guest i'll i'll just keep it i'll just i'll just uh i'm a professional all right all right that's when i talk on stage all alone for a living so i can just stand here and keep doing it it's a different product though i mean there's just a camera in your face look i'm one of the greats i will go down in history as one of the really obscure greats alright give me a second i'll be right back yeah like right now i can just go to the chat and i just look tracy dunbar says werewolves of london i think she combined the game that i played in london um and like the thing is like i didn't really talk about playing these hellish games for a while because i didn't want to get back to any of the a b and c listers that were at these parties but now i don't care i'm not protecting anyone any longer other than the fact that i'm clearly not naming their names um but yeah i don't i don't like games i don't even like i don't play video games i don't do any of that what see the thing because i can rip guitar solos so why would i do any of that stuff i guess this is a social aspect of it of uh nikki hislop says dave when will we see you grace ny state i think late later in april probably i would say that i'll probably so i'm going to sort of slowly dip my toes back into performing um once as we get a sense of uh you know how this pandemic all the pandemic things is happening because i don't want you know i don't want anyone to get sick so um i think the world can wait probably basically i know the world is like when dave can i get back on stage i'm doing an outdoor show in june in the berkshires a largely disease free show and then uh which chain is scheduled to play at mercury launch in september hopefully that'll happen
but um i don't know i think we're in that period where in my medical opinion it's hard to really know what's going on i was trying to figure out if i could go see merciful fade in europe this summer that's really what i'm trying to figure out amy dahl says dave your hair is so long and luxurious i can't know i can't stop playing with it needlessly i need it i that's the real thing is i mean i need a haircut let's let's be honest i look like hell uh yeah i do too my hair is good you look like hell but for totally different reasons um i before we bring our guests on we need to address the fact that chris you're wearing a a scar a second or s would that be the second or third wave of sky second second wave second wave of scar shirt yes i would say that's one wave too late for my taste one wave too late yeah i'm first wave of scot and even that's debatable um no first wave though speaking of first waves that's not a segway des late waves uh new jersey chicken rancher howdy fellas where's it happened to you were you wha i thought you were probably trapped on under a bunch of old newspapers that's so accurate that's sort of accurate i was i was taking uh taking care of some things around the house and in the back of my head i even looked at my phone at 8 20. i was like oh i have another 40 minutes for some reason i was thinking we were on the nine o'clock schedule you know right right i've done this i've had a similar thing where i almost like almost did what you did only somehow that's more understandable because we used to start the show at nine and we moved it an hour early because grandpa dave couldn't handle starting the show that late yeah kim came upstairs and she's like what are you doing like what do you mean she's like he has weight on or something i don't know you [ __ ] up so we're all and well i there was one one day when and one after we had switched it to eight o'clock where i thought it was at 8 30 for some reason which makes no sense whatsoever and i was sitting same thing it was about 7 58 and i was like wait a minute no it's at 8. and then i ran totally checked like the win anyway hello fellas we're so glad you made it um sorry your presence is the present um what's the phone number now that we have the phone number again 201 what's that 547-7071 okay everyone we're back with phones
201-584-7071 that's 201-584-7071 call repeatedly over and over again um is our our guest is our guest is ready to go yeah she's backstage let's bring on nikki bond uh she has an awesome new podcast uh i know i have a lot of questions for i'm sure chris has lots of questions i think nikki chris and i will uh in turn have a lot of questions for dez because he has a lot to answer to still callers have questions callers have questions the number is 201 584 7071 but nikki von she's canadian which uh your favorite kind of person could not already on my good side given my the canadian blonde blood coursing through my veins she has a great new podcast called whoa dad her dad is a drummer that's all i'm gonna tell you because there's so many scourging hot details uh happening that i can i'm gonna have a seizure if we don't just bring it on let's do it ladies and gentlemen please there she is nikki vaughn i was trying to be polite i was like it's a can i turn this on yet i didn't know oh oh you nailed it
i like your microphone your microphone is like um it's kind of got a mr microphone vibe it's a professional my boyfriend yeah is that the brand so he has yeah the brand is big professional microphone your boyfriend's a tour manager yeah for for like rock and roll bands um yes no well it depends on the type of music uh all sorts of bands whoever he can get desperate no i'm just joking more like i guess he's done more edm kind of bands and i'm not i'm pop pop helix this is my my uh what what an edm band that would just be like a guy in a laptop no or am i am i not understanding right i'm not understanding him and the genre of music it's like dance pop i don't even know i'm not saying it right but i think it's mostly like like for dr like you enjoy it on drugs right isn't that really yeah i i'm guys i'm really butchering this i hope is i hope that the bands that he tours with are not listening no they need to hear it they need to hear it it's like he's toured with like the luna george um and benjamin broken social theme that's a rock that's a rock yeah i i know those guys i opened for broken social scene you did i opened up for them at uh webster hall oh sick yeah that's great
what's that what year like recently like pre uh it's like a year ago like not knowing sometime not that long before the pandemic let's say you're not saying it was pre-pandy pre-pandy let's say uh i would put it roughly summer or fall 2019. okay he wasn't on that tour he was on a tour with another band but i thought maybe you guys would have met but no i've actually done a co and then but then i did a show with them and um i did live from here with them in minneapolis probably at the beginning of 2019. maybe he was there i don't know who knows but um i'm sorry my dog is barking it's okay but broken social scene to be clear also canadian but not edm no no no i just said that because i know you like canadians so then i figured you would know that band oh you yeah and you saw how i perked up yes yes everyone else you were like i don't care and then i said that banks i figured you wouldn't know i know i have i mean i'm i'm gonna just even go one further i have like several broken social seniors in my phone i'll call them all right now i'll do it about my buyer there you go matt meyer i mean to be fair there's like 37 members of pro consultants i know i was gonna say i have like um 25 and i was like dude probably no i probably have like 10. i guess i just assumed you had like the ones that are still boring but i have i have you know i have the key players in my phone i'm not gonna name names but i did just text one of them and said what happened with matt meyer
that's what this whole episode is it's just why fire why was he not at that show what happened what went wrong yeah is your boyfriend canadian also from toronto as well oh wow yeah wait so but you've been you've been living in america for a long time i've been living in america
oh okay so that's not that long i guess not no i lived in new york first and then i moved to la in 20 yeah 2014. i'm like i'm the foremost authority on your career you moved to l.a in 2014. yeah yeah um it's an industry town
showbiz town it's much better if you want to be in show business la is where it's at want to be on the big screen you know yeah if you're taking show biz if you want i was going to say if you're taking show biz seriously move to los angeles but what i really meant was if you want showbiz to take you seriously that's the truth um anyway but um there's a couple super chat uh comments in here oh my god we forgot to mention the super chat everyone if you're watching live as well you should the dollar sign at the bottom that's the super chat button where you can show support for the show i know we frame it as uh get your question to the top of the pile and we'll read it on there or your comment or whatever but really the greater thing is to support the show and to where we could get like some sort of alarm that goes off the top that tells when des when the show starts go heads up um elvira canaveral asks you can only take one pedal with you which pedal uh
i guess i would say tuner maybe no that wouldn't no i wouldn't i wouldn't do that i would uh i would probably cheat and get some pedal that had a bunch of things on it all at once um station type pedals yeah there's a bunch of them jessica kybel says to help pay the kidnappers dez blink if they are still there it's no they've left they they to bring
nickibon up to speed uh dez whom you can see there on the screen has only joined the program seconds before you did moments i didn't mean moments thunder he uh lost track of time i knew what time it was i just lost track of space i guess yeah i think that's you were living in the now and i respect that because that's the goal isn't it i don't know if you want to take it should we take let's ask nick nicki do you want to take a call let's take a call let's take the call awesome
we're taking the call you're there caller hello
hello oh it was so exciting we had a call prank call they they they bailed they got oh last second 201 584 707 one i was so excited because i was like nikki's gonna think this is a slick show a phone call has come in i'm having a good one tonight i listened i listened to the couple episodes and the one caller called in and you were talking about covid and how you wanted you didn't want lockdown to stop and i felt you i was like yep me too there is like yeah i've been i'm really wrestling with it like there are i mean if you take away the millions of deaths take away the lost income take away but in terms of just like sim like i wake up on my coffee play with the dog and then i have about seven eight hours i gotta figure out what to do with before i start drinking and that's the day yeah that's that's hard how do you time yeah that's good thing you have a dog i have a dog yeah um you've been in la the whole time uh nicky right yeah i have i have haven't actually went to portland oh nice paper is brighter you know just so yeah you got to get it that's the weird thing is like and i'm not asking you to answer for all of los angeles unless you feel like it i am but you are all but i i always think that la would be a good place to be during the pandemic because it's not like a city like a like new york where people are on on you know new york where i i am live but i'm not at currently but i was back there for a little bit um during during well i was there at the beginning of the pandemic then i went back a little bit and it's like you gotta it's it's just to go answer the door it's it's a whole thing like it would take me like 10 minutes to go get a piece of mail yeah does that have to the masks this net and uh putting pants on shoes on but l.a horrible stuff though but yeah you don't have to do that i guess my question why why is the the why is that why is there so much covid going around when it's so much easier to avoid each other and you can answer for all the millions of people there i think because we have a lot of tick tockers
uh i think because we can be outside and we can hike and do all that kind of stuff and so people you guys are actually in hiding it's cold out you're indoors my friends in toronto were you know staying inside the whole time and we were out being like yeah yeah kovetkovakovic sure but i'm also going to go to this protest uh i'm also going to go on a hike and i may as well walk to the store right because it's so nice out like we were just doing it but i find like when it hit when covet hit and we were in major lockdown i went on a walk up the street and i live off of sunset right by the comedy store and there's a really great hill to walk up with huge houses and it was locked in that i was even like i'm not supposed to be out but there was a tick tock house with a huge party going on on the roof and i couldn't hear them and they were yelling dancing people were in the house out of the house taking like pictures on you know like the balcony it was the biggest party i've seen and i was like whoa what is the tick-tock house is that where a bunch of tick-tockers live together yeah yeah is this like sanctioned by tick-tock or is it a phenomenon that happens in the wild i don't know actually i think that it's it was i think they got shut down so i think it was sanctioned by tick tock and then they got shut down because they were like you can't have all these people in the house i could i could be wrong so don't quote me allegedly yeah wait so just for further clarity the party was sanctioned by tick-tock or tick-tock put a house together where they get a bunch of tick-tockers to live together and to take and talk together the latter the i don't know if tick-tock sanctioned this party for sure but it was very i could seek they were outside it was very like that but they picked that house um i don't know who put this party on really but it was a just been like was a big influencer party but there have been a lot of influencer parties happening influencers they have them all over the world they're literally influencing people to death malta london wait do you just google tick tock houses yeah it's a whole thing oh man that sounds like a hell uh that i can't even wrap my head around you know what you don't want to be in the drip crib what the the drip crib what's a drip crib it's uh they live and make videos in a house that cost 18 grand a month in rent and they pay for it with their tick tock videos uh talent management company invested in the house they're like gq and sports illustrated talent everybody it's like they're all trying to make their own uh summer short house or something what was beach house the mtv show i just i don't know i'm just a cranky old man i just remember a simple time when you would just try to actually get good at something sucker yeah what's that they're just getting good at the same moves over and over you know yeah but you know i don't know that's just me that's just grandpa dave not understanding and yet and yet also being on tick tock and getting excited when the videos as well and disappointing when it doesn't so i'm a man of country are you on tick tock nicki yeah i got on at the beginning and i'm on but like i don't keep up and i'm the same sometimes videos will have like 16 000 views and then it will have 20 and i'm like i just don't i can't i don't know if i care that much although i should no you you shouldn't but then also but it is one of those things where the nature of is you're going what's wrong with me how have i failed yeah why why wha what was so great about me before and how did i lose it and how do i get it back how do you how do i harness the yeah and and then what ha i guess well i i guess we've already answered the question what happens if it goes really well if you hit it out of the park you get to have roommates and live in a tick tock house nightmare if things went well for me i would go back to having roommates if i nailed it on tick tock
oh god they're hot though they'd be hot roommates they'd be hot roomy i'm just like imagining like tic the tick tock house is painted in like a really cool way where you walk in and you can just tell that someone's like [ __ ] you and your rules you're in the tick tick tock house [ __ ] we painted this wall three colors i imagine every wall is just like green like green screen green so if they could do your videos oh you're right and then like they're like go help yourself to a free kombucha you [ __ ] [ __ ] you're in the tick tock house you're playing by our rules now i changed the song this is my playlist yeah i just saw i said you know i'm just getting angry because i'm jealous of it honestly that's the reality of it i know but let's focus though i'm i was reading up in my tireless research um your new podcast you you reconnected with your dad um who sounds
uh an amazing guy a real character real character and and in a bonafide rock and roller not like these edm clowns you mentioned earlier oh not like this band my boyfriend keeps touring with yeah he's a proper musician yeah yeah he can play an instrument yeah it's not it's not just carrying a laptop around he was yeah he was playing with all the guys um and he was in blood sweat and tears
he was in blood sweat and tears he played with jocko pistorius a lot i was like his best friend yeah um and like i'm telling you guys this but he didn't tell me because he just keeps it to himself and so i discovered it when i researched my father uh and he played with herbie hancock a bit uh through jocko and nancy sinatra growing up you had no idea no i all i knew when i was growing up i knew that he played for the arrows which was a toronto band and he wrote a song called nicole's backyard and that's all that's all i knew that's it and then he just he disappeared out of your life yeah so he got deported when i was nine from toronto and he moved back to florida and we kept in touch a little bit like he but before that wait just wait stop just out not to stop you in your tracks but how do you get deported from canada back to america i didn't know that was a thing um you'd be you'd be a drummer you'd be a musician and what wasn't the fact that you existed enough for them to be like you can stay because you have a daughter yeah you would think that and you would think that he would try because he had a dog daughter and i asked him that in one of the episodes because he's like well i just didn't really have a reason to go back and i was like oh i know like that was anyways um no it wasn't reason enough for them because he didn't fill out his papers properly and he overstayed his welcome in toronto and so when he went to i i don't know if he was flying out or flying back in but border the border patrol stopped him and they said you have like 48 hours to get out of here uh because you didn't file your stuff properly and my parents were separated at the time so yeah whoa so what did he do with that 48 hours he got him elma combo yeah that's right that's a drops in toronto massey hall yeah
he just got his stuff and yeah he just had to get out i think it was i don't think he looked into it to be honest i don't think he did the work or even tried to stay because he just was like freaked out and yeah so when so do you knew him when you were a small child yeah yeah i knew him kind of like we would hang out on a sunday and go and watch the planes land or like go to lunch but he wasn't very good with knowing how to interact with me so i would see him every other sunday i was always like shy when i was around him i didn't really know how to like be myself so it was a very distant relationship when he was around and then when he left uh we just like barely kept in touch and how old were you when he left i was nine when he left and then how did you reconnect with him so we kept in touch like we would talk me once every three months and see each other once every two years but he still like would call and be like how's this how's that and i was very short because i didn't know him and i just was like then i become a teen and i'm like i don't care like get out of here and he would always send me christmas presents so he was like present but not didn't know him at all and i reconnected when my friend's dad died and it made me realize that wow if my dad died i know nothing about him and so i wrote him an email expressing all of that and then he was like yeah totally i was just waiting for you to reach out i was just waiting for you to do all the work and then we tried to connect and it's been an up and down and he it will be really good when we see each other so i would start to go to florida to see him because the other i never visited him because i was afraid of flying because i saw a plane crash so i was like afraid to fly on my own you saw a plane crash yeah how so i was at the toronto air show and oh my god yeah that's horrific it was pretty wrong so what was what sort of plane was it like a royal air force a german bomber oh so it was like let's do an old-timey german bomber uh flyby and then it crashed yeah i like came so i was in uh motorboat i was in the 680 news boat because my mom you know my mom worked in uh she worked for them and so we were right by the crash zone because we were the news boat which was like the vip where you can die is the vip area and we were there and the bomber came oh like around it's actually on youtube i found it and it came around went over top of us and it was really low and i didn't think anything of it and it was letting off sparks and i was like fireworks because i loved fireworks and that was actually them signaling like watch out we're going down and then in front of us and like honestly i can't i don't even know how many feet it was but it went in front of us slowly lower lower lower hit the water and just exploded that we were so close that the pieces were floating by our boat whoa and was this on that the the uh
the body of water where whatever that airport were porter airlines flies into yeah lake ontario and it was near porter because that's where the air show was it was by the uh cne exhibition isn't my working knowledge of toronto right now kind of impressive it is i pat on myself on the back i'm letting you finish because i'm i'm impressed it just you're yeah it's weird it's like a i don't even i won't even remember it tomorrow that i've just blurted out these details
yeah um part of me was like let's put let's go to the clip and then i realized like i was like wait no dave that would be a horrible thing to do after she's just let's try to find the like
let's go to the clip you can
that would be a very insensitive i will believe me i will as soon as the show is over i will do it no um so okay so you didn't you didn't want to fly and then and then so so you so but you now but you're you're pretty well reconnected now right we are yeah so it was very off and on it happened like i wrote that email then i finally was like okay i'll come to florida and then that was we got like to know each other a bit more i only stayed for a couple days and then i would go away and then we'd be distant again so this happened like four times i've reached out and honestly it's still happening like more ping is we're very close we're much closer now but like it's the same pattern over and over it's like dating a player like my dad is just aloof and so um yeah we became closer just recently when i realized hey i want to do a podcast where i teach you how to be a father because i have some comedian friends that are in this situation that we're in and they can't they don't know how to connect with their kids and i was like why are you saying to them on the phone to do all these other things and i realized my dad is so funny and quirky and silly that the world needs to see him but also i thought it means we'll spend like the most amount of time ever we've ever had together to try and teach him what he should have done and how to as a dad and and how how is he enjoying it having these conversations hates it doesn't know that [ __ ] no so at first at first when he came to la he came to la right before the pandemic it was amazing that it like he just made it he came in february 2019 we spent a week together and we recorded all the episodes and he loved it like he was just in it and we would do activities like i made him teach him made him teach me like about the birds and the bees and we also go through yeah and we oh wow so you really you backed it way way up yeah i made him suffer yeah i love it so where where is he now so now he's in new orleans and now we do it and now he hates it because i realize when i'm he said like that when he's with me i bring out that other side i bring out the silly side so when we were together it was easier because he knew we were doing that he's like this is amazing this is i would talk about all of our stuff but now that he's away and then he has to do it through zoom and he gets self-conscious and he's like i don't like people knowing about me i don't know i don't want people and i'm like just you you decided to be in a rock star like they're gonna know about you well i know i was gonna assume yeah it's like it's a little late pal he did jocko's autobiography i'm like you already wrote in that book i don't know why what you're talking about yeah i'm like pulling teeth right now to get him to do it and i need to meet up with him so it can be the same that it was but right now i'm making do with what i have yeah but hopefully soon you guys can see each other yeah in person now that we're hopefully digging our way out of this whole mess yeah and nikki you got engaged not that long ago right correct in august and there's a great clip i think it's on your youtube of you telling your dad that you got engaged and he almost instantly changes the subject yeah he just starts talking about like the portland riots or something he said like i was like i'm engaged and i've recorded it for the podcast i it was real time i told him and he goes oh no i said matt proposed and he said what did he propose i was like i spelled potatoes for dinner what are you talking about what he proposed and then he was like oh wow congrats yeah and i was like are you okay and he says just did you hear about the riots in portland and he goes on for an hour about the riots in portland and then just starts talking about trump and like the senate and goes into mitch mcconnell and all this [ __ ] and then finally at the end he was like all right well am i freaking you out i was like no i just like had told you that i was engaged and he went on for an hour to tell me about how bad the world is like and he was like oh well okay let's redo it let's redo it and so we did it three times and did he react approp or did he come up with a different reaction for each time uh he he actually did a good comedic bit where he said oh congratulations did you hear about the portland not over and over it was good it was good fit yeah but my favorite part was he goes when he's telling me about all this stuff and goes all right well anyways want me to send you and i thought he was going to say like a card an engagement present he's like do you want me to send you more information about these riots and i was like no i would like i would like
do you do you know when you're gonna get married no no i have no idea will you you'll wait for the uh yeah for the world to return to some yeah yeah because i want a party i don't want i don't i don't even want it like marriage is like whatever i'm not one of those people that wanted to get married but i'm i'm dual citizen i'm american and so he needs to hop on board that train but so i'm like if i'm gonna suffer and have to get married then i want it to be a party you know yeah yeah with like bow tie pasta yeah yeah uh the whole deal i don't know yeah i i keep i'm i just always assume when you're a party there better be some bow tie pasta on hand or fellaini is that yeah yeah exactly you know that's the one wait so what oh because so wait you're go because your boyfriend is canadian so you'll get married and then he will be able to stay in america here in america now when you get married will your dad will you do it in a way where your dad gives you away [ __ ] man that that situation stresses me out i won't because my mom would probably off herself if i did that oh she's not a fan she's not a fan no she's not a fan and also she raised me like he didn't pay child support she has that like she's ain't you know like he shouldn't get he he shouldn't get that perk you know yeah sometimes i'm like but you know i i wonder if she wishes she's doing the podcast with me but maybe that's two season two yeah or the spin-off you know what
where did where does your mom live again uh she actually lived in toronto and she's in l.a oh yeah why did she come to l.a um because i'm an only child oh and she was like let's let's enjoy our lives together i mean no well her reason is because she has really bad migraines and like she'll be bedridden for a month with her migraines and so i'm sorry the it's like the low pressure system you know people have that sometimes with headaches and so lh when she came out here to visit me her migraines were so much better so she just wanted to get out of toronto because it's always like it is there are it's very cloudy a lot and like the storms and winter and all that kind of stuff was just depressing i mean people don't realize that about canada yeah it's it's it's not all fun and fun in the sun there's canada yeah yeah that's one thing i've learned about canada a big takeaway we have a super chat question we have a super oh my god this is that it's actually i think this came in a few mo uh a few months a few months ago okay several months ago uh elvira canaveral asked nikki what are the best and worst things about a hot mom
she knows she's been watching yes maybe he's uh yeah it must be i how does he know that you're is your mom an attractive woman yeah she's hot is it creepy that uh elvira would have done the legwork to figure that out and then pay money to have chris read it out loud to anyone else disturbed by that mildly honestly having a hot mom my whole life i am used to it now and it's really me annoying now but let's talk about my mom sure okay it's fine uh um the question was what are the perks and what are not what are the best and worst things uh i don't know what the best thing is i would say the best thing is that she will die one day and it'll be my time to shine yes that's the spirit and the worst the worst was honestly high school and people i was really really ugly i was a very ugly kid i don't believe this no it it was i don't even maybe i have oh yeah here wait there's photo evidence oh my god yeah jesus christ
okay that was me oh my god what the hell no my mom okay oh my god how did you oh look at her yeah okay okay i'm gonna full screen you nikki hold on a second i mean any we don't even need to full screen it to determine her mom's hot and she uh
she just really went through some rough rough catch there no i'm kidding no it was real rough it was very rough like the worst part about having a hot mom was because i could never get a guy that i liked ever i would dream about it you know like i'd be like oh one day maybe paris will or like one day joel will like me and then it got to the point that i would find out that my crushes were saying like one crush dan murphy said i don't want i don't want to i don't like nikki no way but wait dan murphy from soul asylum no no no no no no just this other than murphy that i went to high school with oh okay i just wanted i might be getting that wrong guy from soul sound might not be named that but um well it all the important thing is it all worked out but somehow your your uh complex dna worked out and um you're you're a beautiful woman yes thank you i'm fine i'm fine but the thing is now still having a hot mum when i'm out with her the worst part is when people go that's your mom and then i'm like yeah and then they say you guys i thought you were sisters i'm like well now you're telling me that i look 65 like this isn't so it just never ends like i want to uh
so your mom still looks really hot you're saying she still looks very good she doesn't look as hot as she did here but she's still yeah she's still very attractive she she she has done well with herself yeah all right this is good to know i don't know why it's good to know i guess just if i had to choose i would i would just want her to be looking great as opposed to not looking great yeah that's true just the way i want to be in the world just knowing somewhere your mom's out there looking incredible even though i may not ever meet her you know if i had to put money on it i would say yeah i probably won't meet this woman but i'm glad to know she's out there walking the earth i mean for the listener people had not seen the visual in the live stream people the the photo of the mom it looks like it's from some photo booth that somehow there's a why is it say carlsberg behind her she was with um we were in a bar in bermuda so i just folded it like oh okay you you got out the hideous people that she's posing with it's a photo she's posing with two people that are clearly missing chromosomes relative to her um and it but to my mind it looked like some sort of carlsberg promotion which somehow made the whole thing hotter like she walks among us she's just a this beautiful woman who's walking around there's beer posters whatever she's a she's salt of the earth
and is her is is what is her name karen karen karen bond no karen smith beverly karen smith now you're just you're just naming you're making karen smith beverly you're just like how can i it's important we have to throw dave off the trail of my mom so she's completely ungoogleable karen i don't know smith beverly something does she res uh does she resent the the rise of karen being like a man she hates it but the thing is like my mom i'm like oh now everybody wants to jump on board the karen train like this has been my whole [ __ ] life and she hates it because she's a hot karen right so she's like well yeah yeah she doesn't want us to the manager she wants the manager to ask for her number like she knows how special she is but she hates the karen train and the other day she was like first of all she told me i can't talk about her i can't talk about her being karen or that she's a karen i'm like that's your name i don't know how i'm supposed to talk about you but she said i hate this karen thing it is just so it's just so awful it's like racist i was like nope it's not it's not
and she's just it's just not fair it's not it's it's just horrible like i'm so sick of it and i was like mom like you do ask for the manager and she said well yeah but it gets me results i was like okay you're just not she's yeah she hates it so much i'm not allowed to talk about it but i do she could go by smith beverly
smith hey smith beverly yeah get over here smith beverly
i'm sorry now i'm just creating all these fantasy scenarios with your mom that i've never met see this is this is what happens this is what happens yeah that answers the question she ropes you in yep now you're thinking about her i'm i can't tell if i'm thinking about her or just the idea of her which is a very different thing although i have seen the carlsberg photos i just like the idea that she's out there she doesn't give a [ __ ] what carlsberg yeah i'll hang out with the place with the carlsberg poster i don't know yeah sure i'll meet you guys i'll meet my ugly friends at the carlsberg place is carlsberg's like the budweiser of scotland right denmark denmark then it was
no well the picture that's the thing it's like a fun like she's cutting loose yeah she looks like she's somewhere european in the fun and the sun and she is yeah you know she's good times yeah like maybe she's not even wearing she kicked off her sandals i don't know although she would not do that no okay see and now i'm learning more about her too dirty the floor that's disgusting you can't all right yeah yeah now but she she and your dad don't get along no they did for a little bit like she was actually very good at uh making him a part of my life when he lived in toronto she had him over for because he cheated on her and uh there's those rock and rollers yeah those little lion cheating scoundrels um so she would have him over for christmas when they first separated and i didn't want to hang out with him very much because i didn't know him and i was like scared to hate this man strange man so she really encouraged me to do it and like tried to ease me into it or would like hang out like when he got deported and he lived in florida she took me there and stayed with him so she really did make an effort but what happened was my dad when i was in university um which my dad said that he would split with her and it's university's much cheaper in canada this is a queen queen's college university yeah oh it's queen's university yeah yeah queens college you're so close just remember every if a canadian goes to college they're a loser if you go to university you're really smart oh okay this is good to know yeah um and he was supposed to pay for half of it and he only paid for the first semester and then he didn't and then what happened was he said that he would pay for me to go on a grad trip which sounds like such a spoiled thing but he said what do you mean that means like a trip after graduation a trip yeah a trip for when you're graduating so uh it was like my last year and everyone was going away to costa rica and he's like have you ever been to winnipeg i'm gonna send you to winnipeg three magical days and nights yeah yeah yeah and so he said he would pay and then he bailed and then she was like it lost it on him and was like i'm so sick of you disappointing her and then since then she's never talked to him well you know i hate to pick sides in this whole thing but i think we all know which whose side i'm going to take you're hot moms no you're just well as you're doing your dad's got his work cut out for him but it sounds like you're putting him to you're getting there yeah i realized in this process my goal with him changes every time we talk and at first i just wanted him to take ris like to be selfless and be a good and you know put me maybe first sometimes and yeah it's not about getting a new set of rototoms dad yeah yeah that was a good drum joke that i just slipped in there for nobody you got it des no one even plays roto toms anymore i want an era appropriate if you call your dad when we're done say this guy dave just made a roto tom's joke uh that is that a good joke and he'll be like i'd have to hear it but i'm pretty sure it's pretty great yeah okay i'll ask him on the podcast actually yeah yeah dad where do you stand on rototimes there's a great there's a great episode of of her podcast where he reveals that they all grew up in a haunted house or nikki you grew up in a haunted house when you were much younger yeah but your dad actually believed like he's fully oh yeah yeah yeah both of them are on board about it yeah like full-on haunted house what um what is he no how is he when he's not podcasting with you what how does he spend his time um he's in new orleans with his girlfriend who is a singer and i don't honestly i don't know what he's doing right now because he was spending his time just watching cnn uh and now he's starting to get back into the studio he was he would he used to write like a lot of songs before he was on the lion king for like 10 years before he retired he was what was lion king on tour with lion king oh wow yeah and so once he retired he was still writing music but very like dad music like very he still stuck in the 80s loves his sins like there's a couple bells in there you know like you know just that kind of good good so now i think he's back in the studio trying to write some stuff but i really don't know what the [ __ ] he's doing because they'll be like oh i'm okay i'm just not doing oh i don't know and i'm like you aren't doing anything why aren't you available to podcast so now he's now he's trying to get to it he had a lot of anxiety i think because of his life whatever but his his family was in the circus so he grew up like in a very hostile home because circus people are crazy oh yeah they're nuts yeah people i mean of all show business people you want to get some nuts circus yeah murderers
no they're yeah they're totally the craziest eastern european circus forget it yeah right there what's that that's like the sweet spot oh yeah oh man well i i hope uh not well i'm gonna have to keep up with all this i no i keep going back though there has to be the hot mom podcast i i i no no no not the hot mom i'm just saying a podcast with your mom which uh in my mind i'm calling i shouldn't be about the fact that she's an attractive woman i don't she doesn't need any more attention okay she got all the good run yeah she had a good run still gets all the attention over me look what just happened we've talked about it for 10 minutes on this enough i know it's mother's day now i owe you an apology but it just speaks to the power of your mom that she was able without even being here he was able to hijack it i know i know it's a no hot mom podcast ever ever man oh man
really struck a chord yeah but now now uh now will blood sweat and tears play at the wedding i guess that's as a journalist not that i am but i feel like that's a question i should ask as a journalist just being responsible sick i would love my dad to play at the wedding because i i think it'd be really cool for him to drum and i'd love his girlfriend to sing she's an insane singer but yeah maybe i can see if i can get a couple of guys back some are dead but uh maybe the ones that are alive i mean yeah if you're gonna get anyone let's go for those guys i guess that's just science yeah ah but we did live in a haunted house so maybe my mom and dad if they're reunited at the wedding which is what i'm dreading then they can summon the dead and it'll be crazy when's the last time they've seen each other
oh like maybe the 90s oh wow okay
all right that's what that's going to be a rough time oh wow now i'm not really okay i've got my work cut out for me but i'm i'm gonna try to secure an invite to this wedding and i realized i am starting off at zero with this couple i don't know how i'm gonna get there a couple super chats a couple super chats came in just now yeah we have just a couple minutes let's do the super chats and then we gotta drive this ship into the shore jessica kybel says you i think she's talking to you dave she said you could invite her on the show dave i don't know what show um she's referring to though oh invite uh i think she means this one karen on the show oh all right um that would mean you'd have to i no no i'd out of respect for uh i shall not play the the plane crash video and i shall not invite her uh nikki some mom on the show two things that shan't happen um now elvira uh post do you want to read that one or should i well um wait i don't see it uh well elvira um said hot mom shirts are now at the offensive.com so i think you can get a t-shirt that says hot mama on one of his on a website that he built during the show to sell the shirt or why not it'd be so crazy did we read this one sure there's a picture of your mom on the show there probably is jessica do we read this one jessica kybel says lots of us are reluctant i have been enjoying the slower pace did you read that one uh i miss no i didn't what does that refer to i guess we'll have to check back i think oh i think when we were talking about having to go back to normal life after oh this is true this is true um okay gosh we're we're we're out of time we gotta ride off into the live stream live cast podcast something sunset um thank you nickibon for joining us so generous with your time and putting up with our annoying questions everyone listen in nikki's podcast whoa dad you can find wherever you get incredible podcasts um is there anything else you want to tell our massive global audience
don't google my mom thank you okay this is good
enough support me not her and follow me on instagram at nickibon not not my mom me no she's had it too good for too too long it's nikki's time she is on there in a couple photos if you want to be a pervert but otherwise support me yeah hmm you've given me uh i'm gonna have to take a good hard look in the mirror and then and then start scrolling your instagram um all right well let's let's thanks everybody uh if you want to support the show the super chat's always a good way to do it uh or you can as well go maximumfun.org join and support us there and um until next time
you